False Gods

Galaxy In Flames: The Choral City (VII)

Full-scale internicine war breaks out
 on Istvaan III (copyright Games Workshop)

Welcome, citizens, to the Truth.

Poor Titus Cassar. He never saw it coming.

There is a school of thought that would ask how he ever could have, of course. Who could have imagined Jonah Aruken had no need for the Emperor as a god because he was already worshipping at the altar of the war machine he helped to pilot. But thinking along those lines provides us with only a partial answer. The mistake Cassar made with Aruken was not to mistake the direction of his worship, but the desire behind it.

There are as many approaches to religion as there are believers, of course, but the events on and above Istvaan III bring two broad approaches into focus. There are those who identify a being as their god because their power gives them the force of moral authority (or perhaps this causality is reversed, or deemed circular), and those who associate themselves out of the hope that their God's power can in some way be utilised or inherited by themselves. This is a simplification, obviously, and there is no shortage of overlaps between the two positions (the formulation that might makes right practically demands equivalence, for example), but there is certainly great distance between the two positions at their furthest ends, which is all we require for our purposes.

Titus Cassar is fairly clearly of the first persuasion, and Titus Aruken the second, and it is there that the true conflict lies. There's an underlying pragmatism to the Aruken approach that is inconceivable to Cassar. If a new and more powerful god arises, those hungry for power will happily switch their allegiance.  It is far harder to conceive of someone changing the being they worship because a new god has proven to be more moral, not least because morality is so much more subjective than the exercise of power, and because one's own morality is so heavily shaped by outside forces that recognising a wholly alien philosophy as being superior is almost impossible.

Indeed, this pragmatism extends to the point of not even really needing a god at all. Or to be more precise, to not need a god as any more than a figurehead. When the exercise of power is your goal, it's helpful to have genuine supernatural firepower to call upon (as Horus himself decided), but ordnance is only one form of power; in its more general form it the ability to control, something that can be managed with no more than the threat of retribution.

Which means anyone can approach apotheosis with access to enough power, and anyone can gain all the power they want by persuading those under them their comfort or their very life is dependant upon the sufferance of someone, somewhere. It is in understanding this process that so much of the evil done in the name of religion is actually generated, through propping up hierarchies so power can be enjoyed, and by declaring the least powerful groups enemies of god to give those who might otherwise be able to overthrow those hierarchies someone to occupy their time hating. We see the latter in today's Imperium in the frothing scramble to find and murder mutants, irrespective of the threat they could possibly pose to us, but we could just as easily point to a coterie of poets, painters and composers being considered so great a problem to the Warmaster that an outrageous massacre was judged an appropriate response.

Thus can even religions founded on the most rigorous of philosophical constructions collapse into self-perpetuating structures of amoral control.  Which in truth was the result the Imperium was spiralling downwards towards in any case, but Horus put a lot of effort into accelerating the process. Aided, of course, by people like Aruken, looking to devote themselves to whatever cause happens to provide them with the greatest leg up. Willing to use their false gods for a chance at real power.

Which, when you think about it, was what the Emperor was always trying to avoid, despite using a strategy that would eventually guarantee it would happen. The universe is full of such ironies. Some of them, as we've learned, can prove fatal.

Poor Titus Cassar. He never saw it coming.


------


What Is

This chapter brings us to the end of part two of the book. How did this section, basically one long action sequence from the first invasion to the second, work out for you?

There's certainly a lot going on. I've said before that it's not as immersive as I'd like, but at least it's lovely and gruesome.

Did it justify what you saw as a slow start?

Yes. Well, a bit, anyway. There was definitely a lot of set-up needed, what with two new Legions to introduce. Especially Nathan the Death Guard. But we're coming to the end of the trilogy and there's still a lot of things I wished we could get more detail on.

Such as?

How the Astartes get made in the first place. That's a pretty basic element of a story about superhumans; where they came from. I want more on Magnus Magnusson too.

You did get a lot of this coming in later, of course. Particularly on Magnus.

I know that's just the nature of a series of books, but it's still annoying.

Is there anything in there that it could obviously have done without?

There's nothing obvious. Maybe it could have cut back on the fighting a little; we might not have needed all that.

That is kind of the fundamental point of all this, though.

True, and I realise you've got so many people to follow here you need space for them all.

A favourite bit?

Can I answer that? With so unpleasant a section can I really have a "favourite bit"?

You're already on record as loving things as gruesome as possible, it's a bit late to come over all coy now.

Fine. I liked it when the skin was falling off everybody. 

That's my girl.


Were you surprised by which way Jonah Aruken went? Or was he too obviously all about red-hot Titan love?

Yeah, I wasn't really surprised. He'd been too weird about the whole Emperor cult throughout.

I guess when you decide your giant war-robot is basically your God, you don't have time for any others.

I should note at this point that I don't think Cassar is actually dead.

Really? Why?

Because any competent writer would have specifically stated he was dead, not just mentioned the shots.

So what do you think is happening?

One of two things. Either Aruken is shooting at someone else, or he's faking.

Because he knows Turnet is listening in?

Exactly. Or, as an alternative, Aruken has shot Cassar, and the moment the Moderati comes back in he'll shoot him too, then claim the two of them shot each other and regrettably that puts him in charge now.


Full marks for quessing Qruze would kill Maggard, but only with someone's help. Does it make sense it was Sindermann? Are we glad he's dead? And who else might not be making it to the end of the book?

Definitely glad he's dead. He had it coming, the little worm. Well, big worm. Snake.

A snake isn't just a big worm, you realise. There's a spinal column, teeth.

A head.

I like to think worms have a head. Filled with little wormy thoughts.

I'd rather it had been one of the women.  Mersadie would have been best.

Because Euphrati has already got her super-duper mind powers?

Yes. I'm sure you've already had a big rant about feminism at this point.

Not actually, but I was definitely thinking it.

So who else is going to die? Ideally Abaddon, but I think Torgaddon is more likely.  Torgaddon gets killed and it spurs Loken into doing something. I've suggested the Moderati already. And, um, I really want rid of Lucius, but I doubt that's happening either.  Actually, why is Erebus still alive?

What do you mean?

Well, given Horus seems so fed up with him. The Warmaster's murdering people left right and centre. Why not Erebus?

I guess Horus thinks he needs him.

Why?

As an operator to the phone calls Horus needs to make to the Chaos gods. Indeed that's probably why Horus is so annoyed with him; he's pissed off about having to rely on him.


Let's give marks out of ten for Torgaddon's plan to turn the planet into a war zone. Is it a remotely sensible idea? And is there anything else they could be doing anyway?

I'll give it a seven.  There's not much they can really do, but they should at least be setting up an ambush as they retreat.

That might have been the next step, of course.

I might be tempted to try and steal a ship.

Tricky. You'd have to nick an atmosphere-capable craft, and then also steal a Warp-capable craft in orbit.

Well I'm not a strategigist. A militarian strategigist. Whatever. Translate that into English for me.

Absolutely. No problem.


What Will Be

I know you're not a fan of me demanding predictions from you, but since we're about to embark on the last part of the opening trilogy, this is probably the best opportunity we have. So: what might happen in these last four chapters?

Badly. I can't imagine it will end well.  And by "end well", I mean "end". I'm sure it will end on a cliffhanger. Or someone's death, or lack thereof.

Amazing. Somehow you've worked out the story will conclude either with someone dying or no-one dying.

Are we finally going to see the Emperor?

That would certainly fulfil the definition of cliffhanger.

Or find out he's dead.

So, to be clear; someone will die or not die, and that person either will or wll not be the Emperor?

No, he won't die, we'll just only be finding out now that he's dead.  Or, um...

Not dead?

Returned.

Ah.

By Such Terrible Devices

Galaxy In Flames: The Choral City (V)

Angron: clear winner of the final "Primarch
most likely to fall to Chaos" Award, M31.
OR WAS HE?

Welcome, citizens, to the Truth.

Horus' opening statements are over. The rebellion has officially begun.

Amongst the almost infinite approaches to rebellion mankind has dreamed up since we first realised stabbing someone is easier once their backs are turned, there are it seems to us general similarities that surface over and over. One of them is this: their first actions as newly-minted rebels are always those things they had been most wanting to do.

So then, what are we to make of Horus's decision to unleash the virus bombs upon Istvaan III? It certainly wasn't the only way to deal with those Astartes he judged incorruptable. Targeted cyclonic strikes or nuclear detonations would have had the same effect. He could even have simply left, trusting an entire planet of psyker-dominated warriors to grind down a Space Marine force without transport of heavy armour.  Even if the virus bombs were necessary for some reason, there was not a single Astartes more than a few kilometres outside Choral City, meaning the overlapping fire patterns which obliterated all life on the planet was the most horrifically literal form of overkill.

Horus disintegrated all life on a planet because he wanted to. He burned away the atmosphere of a planet because he wanted to.

And then there is Angron.

Given the quality of the sources we have - at great risk - succeeded in obtaining, there can be little doubt that Horus did indeed order Angron to stay in orbit rather than attack the remnants of his loyalist soldiers on the ruined planet below. Beyond that, though, Horus' response is deeply surprising. On a purely strategic level, there is no reason for a major change of plan. Let Angron enjoy himself murdering World Eaters, and head to Istvaan V to prepare the trap, leaving a few vessels with virus-bombs loaded in Istvaan III's orbit.  If Angron wipes out the loyalists before the Emperor's forces arrive, then nothing changes. If not, the ships on-station can bomb the survivors and retreat to the Istvaan V mustering point before the incoming fleets can so much as load their docking bays.  At absolute worst, this might cost Angron and his coterie their lives - assuming that even Primarch of the XII Legion could be so far gone as to ignore impending death at the metaphorical hands of an enemy he cannot swing his chainaxes towards - but then that was the only alternative Horus entertained to a prolonged ground war in any case.

Which leads to a rather simple conclusion: the rebel Astartes invaded Istvaan III because, consciously or not, that was what Horus wanted. The chaos of the virus, the chaos of the conflagration, and now the chaos of combat. When we rebel we do what we've always wanted to do. The one constant amongst almost every Legion that fell to Chaos during the Heresy is that the Emperor was ultimately unable to curb their desires for excess, be that knowledge, bloodshed, or aesthetic perfection. Horus' vice, it now seems, is the utterly unnecessary act of war. After so many decades of holding back, of seeking the diplomatic solution or the surgical strike, the desire to simply cut loose with the terrible power under his command and wipe his enemies from the face of the galaxy finally became too much to restrain.

I suppose we could say the Warmaster decided to master the only method of war he had not yet had the opportunity to try. The desire to try the forbidden and the need to relinquish control.  These are the things Chaos has relied upon to ensnare us from the very beginning. For all the surprising rapidity with which Horus tumbled from a noble defender of humanity to a mass-murdering monster, it may well be that the fall never so far nor so quick as it might have seemed.


------


What Is

What's worse; being eaten by a flesh-melting virus or cooking alive inside a giant robot?

Well, the virus was quicker.  But also agonising. How can I possibly choose?

You could use your imagination.

Nonsense.  This requires full-on scientific experimentation.  Though we lack the credentials. Or materials. Or test subjects.

I dunno.  We really just need an oven, some concentrated acid, and a few of those squirrels that keep nicking our bird feed.

How can we possibly tell which squirrel is enjoying itself less?

Um... volume of screaming?

Yeah, but different squirrels will have different volumes anyway.

Well, obviously; that's why we'll need replicates. Fifty, sixty squirrels, minimum.

We can't kill that many squirrels; we'll have the animal rights people round.

Ugh. I hate those guys.

While we're on the subject of Des'ree.

You mean the Dies Irae?

Which is pronounced how?

Dees Earey. No, Diyez Earey. Eyeray? Diyez Eyerye?

So whilst we're on the subject of Des'ree...

Yes?

Did I mention last week about how they might have put the stabilisers on specifically for the attack?

No.

But that's an obvious conclusion!

I know.

Why didn't you suggest it?

I concluded it was obvious.

I hate you.


What's worse; being eaten by a flesh-melting virus or being disemboweled led by a ten-foot psychopath with filthy chainsaw axes?

Yeah, whose going to win that: World Eaters vs World Eaters.

I'm going to go with whichever bunch has a Primarch.

But the other side has Tarvitz.

Hey, I love Saul, but against Angron, he's basically a toothpick in unnecessarily shiny armour. But to return to the question...


Depends.  Does he kill you quick?

Possibly. But we can't take it as a given.

But that's the whole thing.  Do you die of blood loss almost immediately, or are you left to poo yourself to death-

What?

Well, not literally.  But feces would pump into your blood and internal organs.

That does sound pretty much like pooing yourself to death.

No, it's not pooing unless it comes directly from your bum.

I love the time we get to spend together talking like this.

This was your question!

I didn't tell you to focus on the feces! I've never told anyone to focus on the feces!  I thought we could have a lighthearted conversation about how the axes wouldn't be hygienic and you might get tetanus.  Poisoning people's blood with shit never occurred to me.

Perhaps we should move on.

Yes. That, or split up.


Anything to say on the ongoing nightmare of Istvaan III?

How did the World Eaters build those bunkers so quickly?

They didn't.

But they said they did!

I think they mean the Imperium in general, from back during the original pacification.

They've been there before?

Yes. The Raven Guard did it decades ago. Now it's in rebellion.

That was Davin!

Ah, I see what's happened. Perfectly understandable. Davin was pacified by the Luna Wolves, who then installed an Imperial governor who rebelled and formed part of Chaos' plan to destroy the Emperor.  Istvaan III was pacified by the Raven Guard, who then installed an Imperial governor who rebelled and formed part of Chaos' plan to destroy the Emperor.  Apologies for any confusion.

Also, where's Loken?

Where indeed? Did he reach safety in the catacombs?  Or is he dead? Who can say? WHO CAN SAY?


What Will Be

Horus is suddenly being very coy about his plans. What do you think Abaddon is going to be sent to do?

Kill Loken. Or Erebus. Or somebody.  It's definitely killing someone.

Why Erebus?

Because he can't keep his mouth shut. Also, he tried to have Horus killed. Maybe he needs Abaddon to head down to the planet and sift through the goop for something.

You think you need someone of Abaddon's rank and experience for goop-sifting duties?

It needs to be someone Horus can trust, maybe.

I don't know. I think if Abaddon gets handed a sieve and a peg for his nose he's liable to switch sides again.

True.  Maybe he's being sent to give the Emperor a message.

I would like to see that. The words "swivel on this, punk" presumably have particular weight when you're giving someone the middle finger in a power claw.


Iacton Qruze versus Maggard the Haggard. Place your bet.

Haven't we killed Maggard already?

No. Euphrati froze him with her saintly powers, but he got better.

Where did the golden armour come from?

A gift from Horus, I guess. He can afford it, what with all the money for life support he can cut back on now the remembrancers are dead.

Surely Maggard can't come out of this killing everyone. That's too grim even for this. I'm not sure Iacton can win without a bit of help. Though he's still an Astartes, isn't he?

A very old one.

You're saying even an old Astartes can't just run over a slightly modified human?

Depends on how slight the slight modifications are. It might be a fairer fight than you think.

If they even fight.  Maybe Haggard has had enough moving from mad master to mad master.

He's probably still seeing this as a promotion. Unwanted sexytimes will have been much reduced, if nothing else.

How do you know? Horus might totally be into that.

Very true, though I'd be surprised if he was doing it with a human.  Though actually I guess it depends just where and how Maggard has been enhanced.  He could maybe be giving Magnus the Rod a run for his money.

Refusing To Pass By

Galaxy In Flames: The Choral City: (IV)

The virus bombing of Istvaan III (copyright unknown)

Welcome, citizens, to the Truth.

Istvaan III is dead.

This is, of course, a major historical event; the announcement of Horus' rebellion against his father. And such is its use in our Imperium; for those who know the word "Istvaan", it exists now only as a synonym for violent betrayal.

But it should be something more. Processing Istvaan III as a single event in a chain of historical developments - even an uniquely important enough - simply isn't enough. Istvaan III is dead. It isn't a date with a brief description attached to it.It's a death-toll of horrific proportions generated with unimaginable swiftness. It's millions of parents who died watching their children die. It's people and birds and reptiles and fish and insects and trees and flowers, dead and lost to us forever. Abaddon the Black could have killed ten thousand people for each of the ten thousand years since Horus' betrayal, and he still wouldn't have equalled the butcher's bill unleashed by his master on this single planet.

That it was a crime against the Imperium seems entirely beside the point. It was a crime against everything imaginable. It was a deliberate abdication from humanity itself, though even by saying that we focus too much on the murderer instead of his victims, lined up so wide and so deep they should block everything else from view.

What can we learn from picking over so many graves? What can we see there when the only human reaction is to weep?  We do not study Istvaan III. We do not explain it. We simply remember. It is the least we can do, and all we can do. Remembering Istvaan is how we remember who we are. Picking up a lasgun and marching into a Leviathan is not the only way to fight Chaos. We can simply choose to remember that the difference between the Warp and ourselves - the ourselves we should be - is that we can stop to consider the loss of others.

A pause, then, to consider the loss of Istvaan. It wasn't the largest planet in the Imperium, not the most diverse, and not the most strategically important. It wasn't the first planet claimed by humanity to be destroyed, not the last, nor the most populous.  It was unremarkable in almost every way.  None of which matters.  What matters is it once lived, and now does not.

We bypass that sad, awful fact at the cost of a little piece of our souls.


-------


What Is

Well, that's that.  Istvaan III is now a dead world It's easily the most despicable act the series has thrown up so far. Does Counter sell the horror?

It was certainly plenty gory.

Too gory?

How dare you?

I don't mean too gory for you; I'm well aware of the kind of twisted stories you like to read.  I'm asking whether it jumped over the boundary of good taste, to the extent that either of us are remotely qualified to judge that.

I don't think so.  You need to get across just how horrible a weapon it is, so you get the scale of what's happened and just how far Horus is prepared to go. Did you think it crossed the line?

It was hard for me to read. I kept thibnking about all the children and puppies who the virus was chomping on.

They didn't mention that, though.

Yes, but it's an inescapable conclusion given what we did see.  Well, maybe not the puppies; I've no idea if there are dog breeders on Istvaan III. We can be sure about all those poor old tiny babies, though; it's awful.

The thing that kept jumping to my mind was rabbits.

Rabbits? Why?

It was that line about never expecting Astartes would scream.  You wouldn't think rabbits do either, until it happens.

Is this something about your childhood I should be nervously skirting round?

I think it's because of Watership Down.

That sounds right; that cartoon is completely messed up.

I meant the book. I had two copies of it as a kid, for some reason.

Maybe you needed a spare in case you cried so much over the first one it dissolved.


Why has the Warmaster decided to hold a private screening of his murder of an entire world?

Actually, the fact he's showing it to everyone makes perfect sense to me.  It's a clear political and military message: I will murder a planet full of people who've done nothing to me; what do you think I'll do to you if you cross me.  I can exterminate Astartes at the push of a button, imagine what I can do to you if you don't toe the line.

You mean he's gone from killing his enemies to killing anyone who doesn't explicitly sign up with him, and he's making that clear to everyone?

Yep.

That makes some sense. This definitely feels like Horus announcing his rebellion.  But is he really going to let any of the remembrancers go?

I think he might let a few go, to spread the word about what happened.  He can't want to let them all go, otherwise he'd not have bothered to have the doors guarded. There's definitely going to be some killing.

I was about to ask whether that wouldn't just feel like a waste of ammo, but then I remembered that knives exist.

Yeah.  Definitely at least a few of the remembrancers are going to get it.

Body count strictly greater than zero; got it.


We talked a little while ago about which Astartes would end up on each side of a rebellion by Horus.  Are you surprised to see which side Lucius has ended up on?

I'm not sure what side he has ended up on.  Not wanting to get virus bombed does not translate into taking sides.  Lucius said himself that he can't believe Fulgrim would order him killed.  I think he's going to blame all of this on Eidolon - which is probably fair, in fact; I think Eidolon being afraid of Lucius' ambition still makes much more sense than it being about having Tarvitz as a friend. 

So if Lucius gets the chance to switch sides without having to follow Eidolon, I think he'd do it in a second.

You don't think seeing so many of his comrades murdered might sour him on the idea?

Nope.  He's always been about looking after number one. He didn't even bother warning any of the civilians about what was going to happen, though I suppose neither did Tarvitz.

I doubt there were any civilians left to be seen by the time Tarvitz caught up with the World Eaters. But yes, the civilians of the Choral City do seem to be pretty much entirely forgotten beyond their use as cannon fodder for the World Eaters to get stuck into. It's one of the reasons I'm uneasy about the way the virus bombs were described, we only ever hear about the smallfolk when they're being horribly killed.

It's reinforcing Sindermann's point about not trying to talk to the people they're attacking.

Yes, but it isn't just the Astartes doing it; it's the text itself.

Not just this text, the whole series.  Except for maybe the interex.

The interex, sure, but even the people of High City get at least a little time in our focus, even if their dislike of Karkasy/Imperial people in general made them pretty quiet and sullen.  It'd be nice to see something like that again.


What Will Be

What does Iacton Qruze have in mind for saving Sinderman, Keeler and Oliton?

Yeah, I didn't see that coming.

Iacton saving them?

Yeah.

Not like you to miss a trick.

I'd just completely forgotten about him. Or maybe I just figured he'd be on the planet.

I think that's the point.  It's not really a tremendously subtle point, actually; it's Horus being too arrogant to tick all of his boxes again.  He didn't pay enough attention to the remembrancers, and straight away afterwards he doesn't pay enough attention to Qruze.

But surely he'd end up on the planet, just by default.  Horus wanted to get rid of everyone who wouldn't definitely follow him, and surely he'd have at least ticked off all the captains.

I like to think of it as an administrative error.  You know, they drew up two lists that should have included everybody but Qruze got missed out entirely.  He's just wandering the halls now, waiting for orders.

So did you see it coming?

No, I'd completely forgotten about him.  He's like a 31st millennium Silence.

And now he's trying to escape.

Indeed.  How's that going to go?

I don't see how it ends.  He's going to steal a ship, but what then?  Get away?

It's not easy to see how. Whatever he swipes isn't going to be warp-capable, and Horus has interceptors far faster than anything that can carry four people.

Four people at least; who knows what other loiterers they'll pick up.

Indeed.

He could head for the planet?

Bit virusey.  And even if the pathogens have burned themselves out by the time they land, a few missiles aimed at the only Astartes vessel on the planet would soon sort them out.

They could try and hide with Eidolon's doctor.  Sanctuary in exchange for him getting to study Oliton's enhancements.

I think he'd be more likely to dissect Euphrati to figure out what makes her psychic powers tick.

Oh, that's a point. Escape by magic!

Magic?

Yes.  From Qruze!

Qruze?

Sure.  The Emperor only banned magic recently, right?  So maybe he had powers and he's only just stopped using them.

Makes sense.  I mean, what other plausible candidate could there possibly be?

What are Titus Cassar and Jonah Aruken going to do when they see what's happening to the world outside?

I don't know. Depends who survives, doesn't it?  What I don't see is what the Dies Irae is doing on the surface.

How do you mean?

Well didn't they just soup it up? Why would Horus just do that if he was just going to have it destroyed?

It's not going to be destroyed; that's the whole point of locking the whole thing down.

Yeah, but that's not because Horus warned them.  It was only the message over the vox from Lucius that did that.

The messa- oh, I get you. Well then, yes, I guess we're going to have to wait to see how it pans out.

A Dream Of Peace

Galaxy In Flames: The Choral City (III)

Honour Brothers Nathaniel Garro and Saul Tarvitz (copyright lilloise at 40kart)

Welcome, citizens, to the Truth.

In an era of war, which itself begat an era of endless war, calls for peace were few and far between. Or, more precisely, calls for peace those in the Imperium got the chance to hear were few and far between, the endless choruses of our victims rarely reaching our ears. The final public comments of Iterator Kyril Sindermann, then, can be considered highly unusual for any number of reasons.

Only one copy of Sindermann's last speech is known to exist; a transcription from a recording made by a junior officer in the Imperial Army aboard an escort attached to the 63rd fleet.  Although ten millennia of time has partially corrupted the data-slate upon which the speech was entered, enough remains for us to consider the thrust of his words, and reflect upon how successful his appeal might have been, and to what extent it reflects an improvement in Sindermann's conception of the events surrounding him, as oppose to simply a change. With apologies to purists, and indeed to the memory of Sindermann himself, we have chosen to annotate the speech.

My friends, we live in strange times and there are events in motion which will shock you as they have shocked me. You have come to hear the words of the saint, but she has asked me to speak to you, that I may tell you of what she has seen and what all men and women of faith must do.

The Warmaster has betrayed the Emperor.

Obviously, this last comment is indisputable. We flag it here so as to return later to the question of what betraying the Emperor actually in fact means.

I know, I know. You think that such a thing is unthinkable and only a short time ago, I would have agreed, but it is true. I have seen it with my own eyes. The saint showed me her vision and it chilled my very soul to see it: war-tilled fields of the dead, winds that carry a cruel dust of bone and the sky-turned eyes of men who saw wonders and only dreamed of their children and friendship.

This is direct, uncomplicated rhetoric, of course, of a kind Sindermann must have found useful when addressing audiences about which he could make few assumptions. But it also contains one of the most beautiful phrases we have found in studying the era of the Horus Heresy. "The sky-turned eyes of men who saw wonders and only dreamed of their children and friendship". It stands out all the more for seemingly being unconnected with the imagery that precedes it - visions of ruin and war. For a moment, Sindermann steps out of the large-scale horrors of galactic war and pivots to the human level, which after all is all that truly matters. What does it profit us to acquire the infinite majesty of the Imperium if we risk our families and our friends to do so? How many mothers and fathers have lost their children to win new planets for an empire already too large and widely spread for us to defend? How many friends, lovers, confidants and comrades have died for the theory that humanity cannot survive wars with aliens without being beaten in wars against us first?

I tasted the air and it was heavy with blood, my friends, its stink reeking on the bodies of men we have learned to call the enemy. And for what? That they decided not to be part of our warmongering Imperium? Perhaps they saw more than we? Perhaps it takes the fresh eyes of an outsider to see what we have become blind to.

Perhaps it did, though the example of people like Ignace Karkasy suggests that there were dissenting voices for some time that were simply ignored as inconvenient, if not executed as traitors. But there is little point in berating Sindermann for the length of time it took him to reach enlightenment.  What matters is the nature of that enlightenment: that the Imperium is an instrument of war which has killed millions of people for the crime of wishing for freedom.

Of course, there is an implicit contradiction here. Sindermann is talking on behalf of a saint of the Emperor to followers of the Lectitio Divininatus, but his focus is on how the Imperium has become an instrument of terror and misery. How does the iterator square this circle?

When we embarked upon this so-called "Great Crusade" it was to bring enlightenment and reason to the galaxy, and for a time that was what we did. But look at us now, my friends, when was the last time we approached a world with anything but murder in our hearts?  We bring so many forms of warfare with us, the tension of sieges and the battlefield of trenches soaked in mud and misery while the sky is ripped with gunfire. And the men who lead us are no better! What do we expect from cultures who are met by men named "Warmaster", "Widowmaker" and "The Twisted"? They see the Astartes, clad in their insect carapaces of plate armour, marching to the grim sounds of cocking bolters and roaring chainswords. What culture would not try to resist us?

He does it by shifting blame. The Emperor is blameless here, it is the Warmaster and his equerry, together their soldiers, who have brought us to this point. It's a neat rhetorical trick, no doubt, but it cannot stand up to scrutiny. "Warmaster" may be a name which promises war, but it was not Horus who awarded himself with it. It was bestowed by the Emperor. As to the charge that the Great Crusade no longer brings anything but war, we again must ask: thanks to whom?  There can be little doubt that the Emperor would have acted similarly had he been in command upon reaching Sixty-Three Nineteen or Murder, and we certainly cannot blame the Warmaster for the disintegration of talks upon Xenobia. This leaves us only with Davin, Aureus, and now Istvaan, two of which involved the suppressing of a rebellion headed by a treacherous Imperial commander.  Are we seriously to believe the Emperor would have treated either Temba or Praal with more leniency than his favourite Primarch?  The Emperor who not long before this speech had ordered the destruction of Magnus the Red's planet and Legion for the crime of disobeying him in an attempt to help him?

Which leaves us with Aureus. And yes, without question, that was a bad business, deliberately instigated by the Warmaster, which presumably Sindermann was aware of through Oliton. It is also just one planet at the end of centuries of bloodshed. There is simply no way to read Sindermann's speech and attribute his comments to that single war, bloody and needless though it was. The Crusade did not become corrupted despite the Emperor.  The Crusade was corrupted by the Emperor.

Look to what we leave behind us! So many memorials to our slaughters! Look to the Lupercal's Court, where we house the bloody weapons of war in bright halls and wonder at their cruel beauty as they hang waiting for their time to come again. We look at these weapons as curios, but we forget the actuality of the lives these savage instruments took. 

Ah yes, the memorials of the Crusade. Like the preserved specimen of a keylekid, a race exterminated by the Luna Wolves whilst the Emperor still walked amongst the stars with his Legions. Were the weapons used then not memorials of slaughter?

The fundamental problem here is that Sindermann has a problem with how the Crusade has failed to live up to its stated purpose, he has a concrete example of someone working against that purpose, and he is frantically trying to line the two problems up so they fit together perfectly.  And it simply can't be done.  It's clear that, like so many before him, Sindermann has realised it is better to be betrayed than be mistaken, and that, again like so many others, his response has been to redouble his commitment to his core principles. It isn't that the Emperor was wrong, it's that Horus is a traitor and the Emperor is a God.

It's a frustrating development, because Sindermann came so close to complete understanding. He diagnosed the problem almost perfectly, but refused to follow through on the cause.

The dead cannot speak to us, they cannot plead with us to seek peace while the remembrance of them fades and they are forgotten. Despite the ranks of graves, the triumphal arches and eternal flames, we forget them, for we are afraid to look at what they did lest we see it in ourselves.

By this point the dissonance is total, and Sindermann is telling the worshippers of the Emperor that the two hundred years of the Great Crusade have been squandered.  Which means, in fact, that Sindermann is betraying the Emperor whilst exhorting his followers to stand against another who is betraying the Emperor, albeit in a very different and unquestionably far more terrible way.  One can pray for peace whilst opposing Horus, but you can't do it whilst following the Emperor, not really. Either the dream of peace must be abandoned, or the Lord of Terra.

We have made war in the stars for two centuries, yet there are so many lessons we have never learned.  The dead should be our teachers, for they are the true witnesses. Only they know the horror and the ever repeating failure that is war; the sickness we return to generation after generation because we fail to hear the testament of those who were sacrificed to martial pride, greed or twisted ideology.

In truth, were Sindermann ever forced to make the choice, it would likely be the pursuit of peace. His disgust at the endless spiral of warfare is too clear here for it to be any other way.  He understands too well, at last, that the difference between his opponents who thought they were right and his colleagues who knew they were was never any difference at all. That every culture is better at justifying itself than listening to the perspective of others. That judging ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions is a hypocrisy's never far from generating a body count.

That there is never any worse an idea than insisting we have killed so many that we must continue killing, so that those already dead were lost for some purpose.  There is no way to follow that path without killing sooner or later becoming the purpose in itself.


We needed a better purpose. We needed to listen to the dead, and those still living with voices different to our own. If Sindermann truly understood that, he might have rejected the Emperor, but in the end that hardly matters; if Sindermann truly understood that, the name of the god he invoke in the pursuit of his vision could hardly matter less.  The dream would have remained everything, just as it always had for Sindermann and his fellows, as it did for the Emperor, as even it did for Horus, nightmarish though his dream was for us.

The only difference now is that Sindermann's dream allows for something no other one did: for other dreams to exist alongside if . For every man and woman to dream whatever they choose. Peace is freedom. Perhaps we have fallen too far for it to matter any more. But if humanity is ever to survive, and not simply die as slowly and angrily as possible, then some day we have no choice but to return to Sindermann's words. We must listen, and we must learn, and we must dream.

Let the battlefield dead take our hands in theirs and illuminate us with the most precious truth we can ever learn, that there must be peace instead of war!

Amen.


------


What Is

Sindermann's speech on the virtues of peace is maybe an odd fit for a series of books about blowing everything up.  How well does Counter get across the "Give peace a chance!" message?

I'd say pretty badly, considering Sindermann just declared war on the Warmaster.

Refusing to follow your leader isn't the same things as declaring war, surely?

Nonsense. Sindermann just told a bunch of Emperor worshippers that their boss is about to betray their God.  There's no way that doesn't turn into a war.

Fair point.  But what else could Sindermann do? Usually when people say they're starting a war to guarantee peace they're transparently full of shit, but it's surely true occasionally, and this is one of those times.

He's just going to get everyone killed; they're up against Astartes.

That's true. I suppose Sindermann doesn't know every Astartes left in the fleet is backing Horus, but with Loken on the planet it's true Sindermann has exactly zero Astartes in mind he figures will back him.

It'd be better to try and assassinate Horus. Or even to try and talk to him.  Someone so fickle as to move from "I love the Emperor, he is all" to "I will kill the Emperor for ruining mankind and the galaxy" isn't someone you'd think would be unshakable on his new course, surely.

I don't know. It's much easier to turn love into hate than turn it back. It's one of the very many reasons humanity is as generally awful as it is. No-one is more fanatical than the fanatic who has changed sides.  I'm not sure the assassination idea has much in the way of legs either, actually. Even the rebel Astartes had to find a magic sword with a bespoke poisoning generator to threaten Horus' life.  What chance do mere mortals have?  Sindermann might very well be pursuing the best choice open to him here.  Which doesn't mean it's not all going to go horribly wrong, obviously.


So far we've had one big duel per book: first Loken and Jubal, then Horus and Temba.  How does Lucius versus Praal measure up here?  Does it get extra points for all that bizarre sonic weirdness? Or, I suppose, for including a Dreadnought?

You're not allowed to have a dreadnought in a duel! That's cheating!

He was only dealing with Praal's mooks, it doesn't count as interference.

I thought the sonic stuff was a nice idea, made things a bit different. I wasn't sure about the BOOM when Lucius chopped open Praal's tube, though.

Yeah, I caught that. I'm wondering if Counter figures sound travels through pipes the same way water does.  If the sound in the pipe is louder than the sound in the loudspeaker, you should be calling the loudspeaker something else.

Shouldn't the Astartes armour be able to withstand sound, though?

I confess I don't have a feel for how much sonic force you'd have to apply to upset someone in power armour. But it's definitely a suboptimal strategy. That's why we tend to go after tanks with high explosives rather than Metallica CDs. But I don't think they're using sound because they think it's an effective weapon.  I think they're just addicted to sound and are making use of it everywhere they can.  It would be like me trying to kill people by freezing cider into daggers.

Bollocks.  You'd never get round to stabbing people. At best you'd avoid cutting your tongue off eating your blade-shaped cider ice lollies.

Mmm. Tastes like danger.

Talking of Lucius, why is he down on the planet? You'd think Eidolon would want him on-board for the rebellion.

I can think of two reasons.  One is that Eidolon tried and got nowhere.  We know from his conversation with Tarvitz that the biological enhancement route is at least partially synonymous with being vetted for the rebellion, and I can't see how someone as already convinced of their own perfection as Lucius would be interested in the procedure. Or it might just be that Eidolon isn't sure which way he'll jump, so he's playing it safe.  It's never been mentioned, but I've always assumed anyone Eidolon/Horus/Mortarion/Angron was unsure about got sent down to the planet, because whoever is left in the fleet have to not just be relied upon to support the rebellion, but maintain support for it once they've seen billions of people and thousands of their brother Astartes murdered via pathogen.

Maybe Eidolon just thinks Lucius is too ambitious?

That's potential reason number three. Eidolon needs people with ambition for the rebellion of course, but a little goes a long way; anyone too ambitious is a threat to him, especially since they're about to break the cardinal rule of Astartes not killing other Astartes. Basically, Eidolon is looking for the sweet spot.

Aren't we all?

If you're referring to my unshakable impotence, I keep telling you it's because you won't wear the clown suit and flippers I bought you.  I need you to work with me, here.


Are you picking up any point to Loken's story down on Istvaan III at all?

No.  Nope.  Nah, guv.  You?

God no.

Nice. Care to elaborate?

That's supposed to be your job. But I guess the best I can come up with is that the pit of the dead in front of the statue of a false God is supposed to represent Loken's dedication to Horus. Piling up bodies for the sake of someone not worth bothering with is pretty much what Loken is doing right now, after all.

I suppose it relates back to the beginning of the chapter and Sindermann's speech, underlining how pointless this all is, though the combination is maybe overkill. Either way, there's a problem here, because it wasn't Horus who kicked everything off.  Sindermann is out there preaching about how Horus has ruined the Crusade, but it's the Emperor who started it; it's the Emperor who gave Horus the title "Warmaster" that Sindermann suddenly finds so awful.


Suppose that one awful day you're dragged out of bed, lobotomised, forced into surgery to replace various body parts with machinery, and forced to play the same song over and over forever.  What tune would you pick?

Presumably I wouldn't be allowed to pick, though.

It's a hypothetical, Fliss; we don't need to be strictly rigorous about it. Especially since I assume that by the thirty-first millennium pretty much all your karaoke favourites will have faded from memory. Though I always saw Karkasy as a Doors fan.

I think I'd have to go with "Bohemian Rhapsody", if only because it's so long it would minimise the number of times I'd have to replay it each day.

And comes in three distinct parts, for maximum variability.

Is there a song I could choose that would kill me and release me from the whole deal?

"Gloomy Sunday"? That's supposed to have a fairly hefty body-count, though I think it's rather sweet.

Surely I can't actually do the deed, if I've been reprogrammed.

No, but if you're lucky you'd take enough of your operators out with your Hungarian mope-fest that eventually you'd break down for lack of maintenance.

That'd take too long. I want a song that literally blows my own brains out.

I don't think there is one of those.

Well not now, obviously.  But in the future.

Yes, who knows what notes we will invent as human knowledge expands. I bet H sharp will get the job done, once all these damn musicians stop resting on their laurels.


What Will Be

If Euphrati is so sure Horus' meeting is a trap, why is she heading over there? Is she planning to martyr herself already? And what good does it do Sindermann and Mersadie if they see Horus' betrayal for themselves seconds before it gets them killed?

I don't get that.  Maybe she knows something we don't. I wondered if she was going to try and assassinate Horus at the meeting, but then that just makes him a martyr. No-one would ever know the truth.

She could wait until Horus tries to pull whatever he plans to pull.

But then the remembrancers would still be surrounded by Astartes. No-one is going to be able to get out of that with the real story. 

Fair enough. I do like the idea that the Emperor would be devastated that Horus had been assassinated, with no idea as to how close the Warmaster came to rebelling against him.

Alternatively, maybe she's been taken over by the Warp.

But she's a saint!

So? Why does that preclude her from being taken over by the Warp? She miraculously woke up from a coma, but maybe that's what the Warp wanted.

What would Chaos get out of sending her to see Horus?

She's taking Mersadie and Sindermann with her. Maybe she wants to wipe out the entirety of the church's movement in one go. Though I still think Mersadie is more like to be secretly evil than Euphrati.  I still want to know where's she was through the first part of the book.

Birth Of Serpents

Galaxy In Flames: The Choral City (II)

Saint Celestine, believed by some
to in fact be Euphrati Keeler (copyright Games Workshop)

Welcome, citizens, to the Truth.

Far back in the deepest annals of human history, before the Long Night, perhaps even before the First Age of Technology, people had a saying: "Faith can move mountains". Here in the forty-first millennium, shifting rock structures might seem one of the very least impressive things faith can do.  Flight, invisibility, time-distortion; the powers demonstrated by our saints are as varied as they are awe-inspiring. Such gifts are so rare and offered to those so virtuous that it might seem unforgivable to pick at the reasons why and how such gifts are given. Nevertheless, such study is necessary, because the one thing we can be quite sure about is that these powers are not granted to us by the Emperor.

Our proof of this is the First Saint, Euphrati Keeler herself. Firstly, we have the fact that the Emperor had still to ascend to his Golden Throne, denying him the direct access to the Warp commonly cited as the mechanism by which his will is now enacted. Rather more crucially, though, we can assume the Emperor was not involved in providing Saint Euphrati with psychic help from across the stars is simply because if it had been the Emperor guiding events, it would represent one of the greatest errors in judgement in Imperial history.

But if the Ruler of Mankind can be eliminated as the source of Euphrati's abilities, and so by extension those of at least some of the saints mankind so venerates, what exactly is responsible? With so many saints across the ten thousand years and hundred thousand light years (and how strange to think that light from the outer reaches of Segmentum Pacificus has reached a tenth of the way to the Eastern Fringe since the Siege of the Emperor's Palace), it's entirely possible that multiple reasons can simultaneously exist. For many, it seems most plausible that they were simply latent psykers whose talents activated in a context where they could be declared holy.  The ridiculous process by which Imperial citizens can persuade themselves psykers are abhorrent and miracle-performing saints are beyond reproach is perhaps a topic for another time - though in short this phenomenon is just one more expression of the grotesque, blood-stained hypocrisy man specialises in that will both doom us and demonstrate that we deserve to be doomed. Instead, let's move on to other explanations.

Doing so raises an implicit question, of course; why do we need another explanation? Can't the Emperor's Will and fortuitous psychic activity (where he we read "fortuitous" as "not resulting in being condemned to violent military service, death, or agonising torture followed by agonising death) cover all eventualities? Actually, no. Not here. Consider the moment Saint Keeler awakens.  The timing is almost perfect; too late to warn the loyalist Astartes before their final drop, and too early to for Horus to have the attention to spare to lock down the fleet and prevent the saint's escape.

What's interesting here is that Saint Euphrati stirs herself in the middle ground between two scenarios which could both plausibly shorten the war.  We have suggested already that Horus might well have lost his rebellion before he even left Istvaan III's orbit. so long did it take to crush the resistance offered by Loken, Tarvitz, Ehrlen and their comrades.  Imagine how much more disastrous would have been a space engagement featuring elements of four fleets, each split in two with no clear method for identifying the true leanings of almost any given ship, and in which the unstoppable forces of Anfron, Mortarion and the Dies Irae would find their uses severely limited.  Aside from anything else, it would quite simply have been impossible to prevent loyalist breakouts from the system, offering the Emperor not just additional forces for the coming war, but a raft of additional intelligence on Horus' plans. Any Emperor's Children escaping with word of Fulgrim's mysterious mission to the 52nd Expeditionary Fleet might have led the Emperor to reconsider how far the rot might have spread, for example.

On the other hand, had Keeler recovered much later than she did, she might never have made it, along with Iacton Qruze, to the Eisenstein, significantly reducing the chances that Dorn would ever have heard or credited Garro's message. Without this forewarning, Horus' dalliance above Istvaan III becomes a far less serious problem, and his original plan of a swift, crushing victory brought about by speed and surprise once more becomes a possibility.

What does all this mean?  Two things, in fact. First, the timing of Euphrati's vision and awakening are so precise that any suggestion they were random is difficult to credit. Second, whatever force chose that moment to act through the former remembrancer did not do so to aid one side or the other, but to prolong the conflict between them as long as possible.

The list of sentients both desiring that outcome and capable of obtaining it via Saint Euphrati is small indeed.  The psi-null Necrons lack the necessary capabilities, if indeed any of them were awake at the time.  The Ork's wouldn't ave the first idea of how to gain access to a saint's mind, still less what to do with that access, save for sniggering loudly when the poor human's head explodes. There is only one truly plausible culprit here: Chaos.  Chaos might want victory, but as we've argued, they do not necessarily want it quickly.  You cannot feed once all the cattle are dead, after all.  Neither can you defile once all the believers are gone.  What use is a burning grudge against the puny lapdogs of the Emperor if those followers could take or leave expressions of worship in any case?  To a certain extent you can maintain religion through oppressive force of arms, but to truly breed faith - to truly build something Chaos would find worthwhile knocking down - one requires miracles.

Slow victories keep you fed and the cattle breeding.  Saints keep the cattle fat and tasty. Desecrating the icons of atheism, is difficult and unsatisfying.  If the Imperium had not the Divine Emperor - which originally they didn't - it would be necessary to invent him - which in fact Chaos essentially did.  The idea that the creatures of the Empyrean may have impacted the basics tenets of our religion in more ways than through that greatest of outrages is a chilling one, but this universe has never let an idea's unattractiveness prevent it from being true. Chaos has the means and the motive. Saint Keeler never showed any signs of being beyond the ordinary before she first met a daemon, just as the Warp was sliding towards a footing of total war.  The evidence is circumstantial, but far from easy to immediately dismiss. What if that was truly how it happened? How many more times did Chaos take a hand in defining and delineating our religion? How many of our saints were actually, knowingly or not, nothing more than serpents in the garden, delivering us unto evil? How long have we been manipulated by forces fuelling both sides of this ugly, endless war?

And if even our miracles might simply be tools of the Great Enemy, then just what is it we should be praying for that might somehow allow us to win?


------


What Is

This is the second chapter now which is dominated by Counter's extended multi-viewpoint action sequence as three Legions (well, four, but who knows what the Death Guard are up to) attack the Choral City.  Since a lot of this section is going to rely on how successful Counter is at this approach, this is a good time to ask, um, is he?

Jumping between viewpoints is definitely working. There's been far too much single-viewpoint chapters since Martin got popular.

"Third-person limited".

No-one cares. The point is it makes things drag on if you're not careful, as well as pretty much guaranteeing whoever's watching events is going to survive, unless you're actually reading Martin himself.

Actually, prologues and epilogues aside, he's only actually killed one character in a chapter from their perspective. True fact. But I digress.

So I'm enjoying how fast it's going, and how it's clearly building up to a climax.  There's still the feeling that I don't really know any of these characters, though. Tarvitz is about the only character in this book I feel we've gotten ino the head of, and he isn't even in this big set-piece.

Do you really need to know much about Lucius to enjoy him murdering faceless goons, though? Or find it interesting, at least?

Well, it's not like we can really empathise with him.  If we did, it would suggest there was something wrong with us.  We've no reason to engage with him, or with the enemy; it's just two groups of people killing each other at great length for no reason. We also seem to have entirely lost the Death Eaters.

There's a reason for that; they're all in Harry Potter. You mean the Death Guard and/or the World Eaters.

Yeah, where did they all go?  We heard they were in a fight for their life, and then nothing.

I'm sure they'll show up once they've finished shooting an entire city's worth of civilians.  Whatever else it might be, that can't be a quick job.


Saul Tarvitz has had far less page-time than Loken up to this point.  Why is it he's been given the "warn the loyalists" plot-line, whilst Loken just gets to try and fulfil the orders of his treacherous boss whilst bogged down on the planet?

Because Loken wouldn't do anything? Even if he saw the damn missiles, he'd just have a quick grumble and shuffle on.

Is that really how you see him?

I thought that's how you saw him.

It is, though somewhat less upon this re-read. But that's hardly the point.

He's definitely let a lot go by without doing anything about it.  All he's done has stolen a book, and he gave that back.

That's a good point.

Plus, on just a basic plot level, everyone's watching Loken to see what he'll do.  He wouldn't be able to go sneaking around like Tarvitz.

True.  There might even be some kind of ludicrously heavy-handed metaphor here about how Loken is trapped on the surface and also by his own moral compromises whilst Tarvitz can fly free because he's escaped from making the same mistake.

Sure you're not giving Counter too much credit there?

I'm honestly not sure if I'm giving too much credit or just being insulting. Though of course previous experience would heavily suggest the latter.


What Will Be

So, you're Nathaniel Garro.  You've got a frigate staffed with potential traitors, a blood-debt to a fugitive, and an upcoming rap for shooting down your own side's interceptors.  Oh, and you only have one leg.  What are you going to do next?

Don't have a go at him for missing a leg!

I'm not dissing the guy! I'm just saying if I find out my boss is about to massacre thousands of my friends and try to kill me too, I'd like to have both legs working for maximum running away options.

Is he going to run away? How's he going to explain that when he meets up with Dorn or Magnus Magnusson? "I found out all my mates were about to get virus-bombed so I legged it."

He can't do anything, though.  Not in a frigate.

Yeah, I have no idea what that is.

Never mind. The point is someone has to go warn the Emperor.

Surely he already knows?

How do you figure that?

Clearly it's him who's sending Euphrati the visions.

Really? He's picked a hell of a time to start with the video feed, hasn't he?

It's not his fault she's in a coma; her puny brain can't handle the strain.

Sounds like it is his fault, then, and either way I'd have thought some phone calls to the hideously beweaponed battlecruisers stuffing the system would be preferable to rely on a coma patient waking.

Horus is going to have cut the phone lines, Ric; come on.

If the Emperor can dial up Euphrati, he can dial up Loken.

Astartes too closed-minded.

You're too closed-minded. Astartes are all very different. Except if they're from the same reason. Then they're indistinguishable.


Either way, they won't have had all that freaky stuff done to them that remembrancers have.

Well, maybe. But let's move on; I'm bored of talking about Euphrati.


Euphrati Keeler has chosen a hell of a time to wake up.  Is there any time left for her to do anything useful?  What does fate have in store for her pitiful little band? Rousing the fleet to action? Or lined up against the wall and shot?

She'll be martyred, obviously.

Well, obviously.  Martyring is what saints are all about.  The question is how?

She'll be lined up against the wall and shot.

I may have led the witness a bit there, actually.  Anything a bit less obvious?

Er.... Sindermann becomes a zombie.

WHAT?

Everyone says how he's gotten thin and frail.

That's not how you become a zombie!

Good point. So he's already a zombie!

Oh, for God's sake.

And the visions come attached to a terrible curse that kills everyone who sees them, or really who hears about them at all. How's that?

A terrible view into your psyche. Please don't murder me as I sleep for saying so.

I promise nothing.